Tuesday, 31 March 2009

Week 5

Week 5 was only slightly better. I am managing with the food I'm eating and quite enjoy it although sometimes I do miss bread ... and have been known to make a sneaky piece of toast at night!!!
Chocolate still misses me and I miss it!!!!!!!!!

On Saturday I went shopping after dropping Hope off at her dancing class. I thought I'd pop in to Boots and get weighed. I was so thrilled to see I'd lost 3lb I prompty went off and treated myself with a Cadbury chocolate bar! Why do we do that!! When Alcoholics reach each milestone, they don't celebrate by having a drink. I really wish I could understand the psychy of a fatty!
The cholate tasted so good I decided to continue celebrating on Sunday, and had some more!

When I got weighed on Monday afternoon, I had still lost 3lb. So I'm pretty lucky!!! That means a total loss of 13lb in 5 weeks. Or 6.5kg! I'm quite pleased with that, although if I had been more comitted I could have lost more. What if, what if.

One cause of celebration though, I managed to fit into a size 18 pair of jeans I wore before I was pregnant with Lucas. So I was thrilled.
I feel a lot better and Jeff said he can notice the difference.

Onwards and Upwards...l.

Thursday, 19 March 2009

Week 4

Week 4 Started on Monday 16th March. Also my weigh in day. I was dreading it, thinking that I was sure to have put weight on......

... I went to boots, took my jacket and shoes off and stepped onto the scales, putting my 50p into the slot, hoping like always that I don't bump into someone I know. "Stand still with head up" boomed the speaker .... my heart was thumping and I was hoping "Please no more than 2lb on".

I couldn't believe it!!!! One pound OFF!!! I could have jumped up and down and shouted. Instead I walked off with a cheeky grin, giving myself a good telling off about being good this week etc.

Tuesday came, and so did something else very unexpected and very unwelcome. Lets just say the red flag is flying full mast and I am not a happy bunny! Felt quite sick on Tuesday and very shakey. In the end I bought a sandwich but it didn't help the shakes and I felt even more sick.
all I wanted was chocolate, so I told myself it was ok and I had a whole bar of cadbury craberry granola. (new) and to tell you the truth I don't remember much about it. It didn't send me to heaven - it wasn't orgasmic. I just munched one block at a time, sometimes 2 by 2.... after all the animals went in the ark 2 by 2 ... why not my chocolate blocks!

I was off work yesterday (Wednesday). I was still feeling yuk and Jeff and I went out for breakfast and then I didn't eat until tea time.

Today, however is a new day. I'm back on track properly today ... still got horrible cramps ... being a woman sucks sometimes! I can hear all the chocolate bars in the shop downstairs calling my name .... I need rehab!

Mother's day is this Sunday and I'm allowing myself to have lovely South African chicken curry and Rooti and probably some chocolate - at lunch time. Appart from that I am hoping to stick to the plan! Please!!

Week 3

Week 3 was awful. So much going on and so many opportunities to CHEAT!!! and Cheat I did!

We were out most of the weekend.

I shopped late on Friday and it was nearly 10pm when I got home, so I ended up eating in the car on the way home. I suppose it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I had two enchiladas with chicken on (part of my shopping) and I made it up in the car. Hope and I enjoyed it on the way home.

On Saturday we took the kids to the Lowry to see Peppa Pig. We had burgers and chips for lunch.

Then I went to a Hen Night and had a 3 course meal. Lovely pate and malba toast for starters, chicken and veg for main (didn't eat it all) and chocolate torte for sweet. LOVELY!! I think I deserved it since I had to sit through over an hour of a Screaming Diva Los Vagas!!!

On Sunday, because I hadn't already eaten enough rubbish, we went back to the Lowry and I had a Subway Meatballs sub. Only a 6" mind you, although I could have quite happily polished off a Foot long sub with room for pudding!

During all this time I kept telling Jeff I shouldn't be eating this ... like it was his fault and not mine! It didn't stop me though. Why are we like that. We know we shouldn't but we kid ourselves into thinking "It's ok, it's just this once ... we should treat ourselves"!! Why do we treat ourselves with FOOD and not jewellery or clothes etc. We "treat" ourselves with something that has been the cause of so much missery for so long .... Hello, my name is Tracy and I'm a foodaholic!

Tuesday, 10 March 2009

Ticked off and stuff

I'm sitting at work. Have had a meeting that didn't end well. I hate my intelligence being underestimated.

The first thing I want to do is EAT. I want a giant size Cadbury fruit and nut!

That's the thing about me and my addiction ..... I am an emotional eater. Things go wrong or upset me and I head for the chocolate or crisps. Or Bread! Oh how I love bread. I think I'll just sit here and think about chocolate and bread!

Talking of addicitons. When I think about how I crave food and how I struggle with the hunger pangs, it has reminded me of how a junkie struggles to come clean. I suppose I'm like that. I'm struggling to come clean and it's really hard work. But the only way I'm ever going to stay at a healthy weight is if I get into a healthy way of thinking.

I think part of it is also believing that you are worth effort. That you are worth it to be healthy and slim.

Since having my children who are still very young, I have been really aware of how unhealthy I am and that I need to be healthy for them. They deserve a mother who is fit and healthy and who is a good example. I would hate to think my kids would ever be embarrased of their FAT mum.

Monday, 9 March 2009

Fat Attack Week 2

Week two has been terribly hard. Mentally challenging as well as physically. It's mind over matter all the time. Having 5 hours between each meal is a struggle.

I gave in on Friday when I took the kids out for tea. I ended up having a chicken burger and chips. Oh was it lovely! But later I paid the price - my stomach was in a mess. Easy come, Easy go!!

Hope kept asking why I couldn't eat certain things and in between meals. I told her because I need to loose weight and get healthy. She lifted up my top and said "Yes mum, you have a fat jelly belly" ... lovely .... out of the mouthes of children, come the truth!

Weigh in: Lost 3lb

I blew my GOAL out of the water. Wore my skirt suit to work on Firday! It fits!!!! Whoop Woo!

I need a new goal... will have to think about that ...

Fat Attack Week 1

I started my Fat Attack Journey week commencing 23 February. I'm following the Sure Slim eating plan. It's really hard and very strict.

The first week I was very enthusiastic. Kept telling myself to LOVE the Hunger Pangs because they were EATING the FAT!!

By the end of the week, I could feel a difference in my clothes and even Jeff said he could see a difference.

Weigh in: Lost 5lb ... Yippeee

Goal is to wear a skirt suit to work by end of March, that I bought a few months ago which was MUCH too tight. I felt like a pork sausage trying to squeeze into it!!